Friday, March 9, 2007

RocknRoll Pilgrimages+mullets+beer=AWESOME

Any fan of the rawk worth his/her saltshaker has taken his/her moneymaker on a RocknRoll pilgrimage. It's like a concert, somewhere along the line you have to buy a ticket, but good thing is you're pretty much guaranteed front row if you wait in line long enough. I've done the Graceland thang twice now, waited patiently in line for my one minute audience in front of the King; I would have stayed longer but some weepy beehive farmer from Boise, Idaho, using the hem of her muumuu as a snotrag, not so subtly pushed me along. Jesus. They should just install those people-movin' airport terminal conveyor belts all along the Presley gravesite so that time allotment though brief, would be a little more democratic. Mizz Pricillia could also maximize her profits through this improved time/people ratio and continue her long tradition of sucking the Presley Estate tit (he did afterall, have one hell of a set of man boobs when he kicked it). Anyway, now that I have left you with a bad taste of sour milk in your mouth, let's move along.

This post is dedicated to Todd, Tom and Paul. They have a most righteous, albeit somewhat morbid website chronicling their pursuits of deadness. Three Horsemen of the Mullet Apocalypse belching and burping their short pants and tube soxed way through most of America's tragedy hotspotz. I love these guys, I UNDERSTAND them. But dudes...burp on the way to or from the gravesite, not in front of.

Here's a clip of the three amigos paying a visit to Stevie Ray Vaughn's helicopter crash site...ooooh and the plot thickens when there is mention of a SRV ghost...

Enjoy the burps? I sure did. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse I found this one:

Someone needs to call Aretha and have her slap some R-E-S-P-E-C-T into these professional Bar-B-Q'ers. It's Lead Belly, fer gosh darn sake! Ship' em off to some Ghoul Charm School, like in Switzerland or wherever people learn to be fancy.

Then again, there are too many fancy people in this world as it is. Belch away, brothers! Meet us halfway and at least say "Excuse me".

currently listening to: Jesu, S/T

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