Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Can I Have Your Job?

Try as I might, I cannot find an image anywhere on the net depicting this person(s) doing, what I'd like to think, is a pretty sweet 9to5er. Standing around all day in a beautiful, serene environment full of the kind of history that people go to post secondary school to learn about. Maybe the standing around part ain't so keen, but when one's attention is diverted in a pleasurable and engaging way, one soon forgets the little inconveniences. Do you think Lloyd Dobbler had a problem standing around and hoisting that heavy boombox way high over his head...no way, a man or a woman on a mission has gotz to stand still occasionally to help them eventually go forward.

So just what is this profession I'm talking about here? The Gatekeeper to the Doors. Well... one Door in particular. You know, the one who took LA by storm, then showed his wang in Miami, and then tub-surfed for all eternity in Paris. As many of you well know, when you visit Jim at the gorgeous Pere Lachaise Cemetary you will find that they have now installed a full time guard to make sure no one uses a Sharpie to write, "Jim Lives" or "You Rule, Jimbo, I have a jeans jacket with cut-off sleeves with a massive Doors logo on the back, sewn on by my Mom." I want to be this guard. Not because I'm a huge Doors fan. I like em, and I like 'em a lot when my friends and I sit around a table and recite Doors lyrics using various different accents. Try reciting,
"Peppermint miniskirts,
Chocolate Candy.
Champion sax,
and a girl named Sandy"
...from the Soft Parade...recite in an pretentious Masterpiece Theatre accent and then see how much you enjoy the Doors.
Anyway, I think it would be a blast to witness full blown what happens on a daily basis at Jim's grave. All the different people from all walks of life, from every corner of the earth. The crazies, the ones with a more sane, bonafide agenda, the lone hippy kid that dances even when there is no music. I love the crazy hippy kid. The Phish out of water kid that is the first to dance at every concert. And I'm talking every concert, despite the genre/artist. I was at a fuckin' Kraftwerk concert and there it was, the token hippy kid dancin' all by himself.
I visited Jim in 2000. The guard was there looking all serious, but you just know that when he got off work and sat down with his friends he would be saying "Shit man, you should have seen the freaks today!" Except he would have said it in French.

currently listening to: Archer Prewitt, White Sky

PS...I mean no disrespect to any Doors fans. I'm fronting for comedic value only. Doors fans are the best around; loyal beyond comparison and always keeping the torch lit. My props to you all.


Sling said...

Time it was,and what a time it was,
it was,..a time of innocence.
A time of consequences..
Yeah,I know that's Simon and Garfunkle,but it pretty much works for Jim as well...enjoyed the post bonnie.:)

Lorraine said...

That would be a cool gig. And I am loving the idea of the lyric-with-accents game. I am going to practise "I want to sleep all night in your soul kitchen" with a Cockney, I think.