Monday, April 23, 2007

It's A Family Un-fair

I caught a bit of Glengarry Glen Ross on the idiot box this weekend. It was the scene where Alec Baldwin just kills it. What a performance. There is no doubt that he is a spectacular talent. It's the role of Dad that he sucks at. And now the web is rife with Baldwin hate. His wiki page as of this writing, calls him "emofag". Wow. Charming. That's a new one. Thank god, we were all getting so tired of "eurofag". And "alt.countryfag" is so 2001...or whichever year Wilco released Yankee Hotel Foxtrot...

Speaking of emo, let us not forget that emo spelled backwards is ome. As in O, me. "OHHHHHHHHHH ME ME ME ME. It's all about ME. And MY personal pain." Let us not forget either that in the current edition of The Emo Guys Guide to Picking Up Females the most oft used pick-up line is "Your dark, aching, downward spiraling abyss-pit or mine?" The guide also recommends that emo boys put a copy of Bukowski's "Women" in the back pocket of their lowslung emopantz, and wear it like a cowboy would pocket-display a red handkerchief. The smart-in-the-school but dumb-in-the-love girls with vintage cocktail dresses and cats-eye glasses will come a-running. Trust me. I know this, from personal exp... ahem, from a story a girlfriend told me. Yeah.

But back to Mr. Baldwin. Will someone alert me when somebody adds some sweet beats on top of Alec's tirade? It's inevitable really. Some cool old-skool Grandmaster Flash beats and scratches mashed up with Baldwin's freak out would serve nicely. Thanks in advance. I'm still waiting for Buddy Rich's infamous freak out on his band members to be set to music. "The Bus Tapes" as they have come to be known, feature the deliciously gifted yet deliriously effed up drummer giving his long-suffering band the what's for on their tour bus. Let's just say that Buddy didn't have many buddies after this one. What Rich needed was the old Calm the inner Frances Farmer, the ice pick under the eyelid and into the frontal lobe Treatment. But then again, would his drumming be as stellar? That's the problem with tempermental, spaz-prone artists. They are invariably excused from a plethora of social sins and from committing dead-rotten behavior because that fiery, passionate personality that on occasion offends, is also responsible for fueling the creation of great art.

Bullshit. Rotten is rotten. Paint it or play it as dynamic and enthralling as you like, but rotten conduct is rotten conduct and certainly deserves to be called as such when on the receiving end of spite and malice is one's own pre-teen daughter. Shame on you Alec. Pick on someone your own size, which I realize is becoming increasingly difficult as you continue to leave your Beetlejuice-era slimness behind, ballooning and bloating into a un-bluish/purplish version of Violet Beauregarde.


If ya feel like listenin' to the Buddy Rich "Bus Tapes", you can find 'em here.

currently listening to: Klark Kent, various righteous trax on itunes

12 comments:

Godwhacker said...

Show me someone who never said something they regretted, and I'll show you someone who just doesn't care.

Allan said...

Great emo rant! I don't know whatBaldwin did, but you nailed it on the Bus Tapes- what a wiper. (Not the Greg Sage kind of Wiper- I like those Wipers)
Thanks for making MY weekend! It was a rough one,but it had a bright spot!
XXOO
Your loving editor,
Mr. Sensitive


(Listened to:
Alan Parsons- I, Robot
P.J. Harvey - 50 ft. Queenie
and thought of you)

bonjourtristesse said...

Hey GW! Baldwin will certainly regret it once the Entertainment Tonight cameras are rolling...Baldwin cares only about...Alec. I feel for the girl, I hope Momma Kim is a good parent...who knows.

Allan! I had to google Greg Sage...and ironically enough his deets tie into the other part of my post--Beauregarde! Did you plan that magic? You continue to amaze! Thanks fer being the best editor...the PJ and Parsons thought vibe reached me...LOL! thanks for all, Mr. Sensitive!

Todd and in Charge said...

Hey, great Buddy Rich comment. I saw him do a workshop in Gainesville, FL in the early 80s, the guy ruled, knew his shit, and didn't need to take any of it from a bunch of snot-nosed acolytes....

Reminds me of Jerry Lewis hitting the drum pads during Cinderfella, another notorious diva, all "I ruled before you fool" and he was right...

bonjourtristesse said...

Hey Todd! Thanks,you! Glad you liked the Buddy stuff. WOW! That's amazing that you saw him do a clinic! Must have been incredible, what can I say, I'm jealous! Okay, I have got to check out Cinderfella now, Jerry Lewis in the King of Comedy was so classic...BTW, I posted a link to the audio clips of the Bus tapes in case yer interested! Thanks for the cool GG youtubie today!:D

SamuraiFrog said...

My favorite part of the Alec Baldwin thing is the constant assurance of his friends that he's not really like this, and that he really loves his kid, and he was just upset about blah-de-blah blah to the boogedy beat. What an asshole. I don't care what's going on or who you're really mad at, you don't ever go off like that on your own kid. They will never, ever forget it. Way to ruin your image as a father in the eyes of your own child, you jag.

Invisible said...

emofagphobia perhaps? could it be a chargeable diagnosis in the DVM?

Invisible said...

Oh yeah.. and any good parent knows if you are going to fuck up you do NOT do it on voice mail... HELL dont we all KNOW not to leave a trail of evidence by now... no matter if its parenting or robbing a bank... you dont leave evidence... fucking forensics is one hot business nowadays

Todd and in Charge said...

I'm gonna check to see if I can find that video.

Allan said...

GS is awesome. He builds his own pre-amps and fuzz boxes out of junked electronics...but he can't mix worth a fuck. On some of the Wipers stuff, you can barely hear the drums and bass...OK, I'll stop now...I wonder if he is still alive? He was very ill...stop...stop...

bonjourtristesse said...

hey gang! what up??? hope all is all well where yer at! :D

SF! "blah blah blah to the boogedy beat." RITE ON! feelin' that throwdown my brother! Hey, I saw your fave and mine Kurt Russell on the tube last nite...thought of you rite away! I didn't know Kurt had an album out! From back in his Disney daze...wonder if available on CD!??????

Visi! ya the CSI should have a special dept. for the likes of child bullies like Baldwin. Or Law and Order SCBD (Special Child Bully Department)...cue the Law and Order theme...da da da da da...good to see ya. Hope all is good and groovy with ya today (3 more days to Friday!):D

hey Todd! Yes! Find the King of Comedy...brilliant! I will find Cinderfella and then we can compare notes! :)

Allan!
Sounds like my kind of tech-head, this GS. Play some Wipers this Sunday if ya can! Will email soon, brother...:)

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