Forget The 12 Steps...Here's A 1 Step Scare Into Sober

I have an alternate solution to the much touted 12 Steps plan for putting down the bottle. My program involves 1 Step and 1 Step only. Here we go...y'all ready?

STEP ONE:

Watch this video.


Thankfully our buddy Chris is still alive, producing albums and still playing...hopefully he has gotten past the whole self-diss habit and has stopped calling himself "a piece of crap". Buddy shredded awesome on W.A.S.P.'s "Animal(F*ck Like a Beast), a song that got the right wingers all offended and agitated way before NIN's lyric "I wanna f*ck you like an animal" from the track "Closer". Even offensiveness needs its ground breakers. And if you don't like it, don't listen. I'm sure Creed will come around again soon to keep you safe and warm. Or Stryper, if you like your hard rock with a halo.

Chris also lent his Ibanez Destroyer to Eddie Van Halen to record "Women and Children First". So he must be given props for lending his toys, fuckup or not.

I'm not trying to make light of what a terrible disease alcoholism is. Far from it. The world of Rawk can be big, dumb and stupid. A gifted musician doesn't have to be. All I can say is to anyone reading who is traveling the long hard road of rock right now, stuck somewhere between a blazing fire in Tonawanda and Timbuktu, is this--

"Rise above, rise above."

AND... while on tour, turning already-worn underwear inside out does qualify as clean underwear.

But only then.

currently listening to: Slint, Spiderland (again and again...it just never gets old)