Monday, July 2, 2007

Caught By the Fuzz

I finally called the cops on the assholes down the hall who play godawful, repetitive, tailor-made-for meth heads, "music" at heavy high volume at all hours of the night and day. I had had enough. Telling them politely to turn it down wasn't so effective. I had considered knocking one more time to ask them:

"Hey you fuckin' E-tards, do ya take requests? If ya do, have you heard that supah-dope deep house cut called "If ya don't turn that souless shit down I'll have ya kicked out of the building?"

Imagine, for just a moment, the shittiest dance music you have ever heard and then multiply the shitty factor by a thousand. That would get you right there, right at the sort of aural punishment I have been subjected to for months. At high volume. Manufactured bass and drum pulse and pound like continuous boots to the head at 180 BPM.

What kind of fucking drugs to you have to be on that makes that music sound good? Oh right, chemical kinds that fuck up your perceptions so much that some woman's shrieking vocals streamed through a vocoder suddenly sounds as gorgeous as Maria Callas doing Madame Butterfly. Riiiiight.



The Vocoder, astounding effect either used brilliantly, or abused horribly depending on the genre

The police did a good job. It's silent now.

But for how long?

currently listening to: SILENCE

11 comments:

harbinger said...

Seems I have the same mindless trash living beside me. First of all, I am quite tolerant of others music but, why the hell are they listening to this dance? club? whatever music with a bassline a two year old could play at 11 volume in a house? At all hours this would go on. Then they are yelling at the top of their lungs over it.
3am. a few weeks ago called the cops, they put an end to that crap.

Godwhacker said...

Oh no.. but this did make me chuckle a little. I once had a neighbor call the cops on me... and I was playing SADE. SADE is like one step from easy listening. It wasn't loud and it wasn't late.

When the cops left, I switched from SADE to Jimi Hendrix and cranked up the volume. "Now you have something to call the cops about!"

Pastry Artist said...

I feel for you.

Theresa111

Allan said...

Hope it holds and they move out..

Pastry Artist said...

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Theresa111

SamuraiFrog said...

Oh, man, I hope they get kicked out on the street. Living across from a university, most of my neighbors have been like this. The redneck yuppies who lived downstairs thought it was cute to have little parties where they turned up the music really high and sang along. If I have to hear one more white guy think he's cool for knowing the first verse of "Baby Got Back" again...

The people who live down there now finally got the message. Every time their parties got too loud I would call the cops and write a complaint letter to the office. They got fined twice and figured out they should take the party elsewhere.

Seriously, I'm fine with people when I have to interact with them, but when I'm home trying to sleep, don't fuck with me or that's it.

Erik said...

I think I may have you beat. I had the exact same problem, except that the guy was playing the music off of his computer, so every now and then the music would be interrupted by the "Windows error sound." That error sound would be so loud that it would rattle the dishes in my kitchen cabinets.

AC@44 said...

I feel for you and understand... we back onto a park in North York. The police now close it at 11pm, before it was open all night. How would you like to try to fall asleep to 10 different Gino Beats pumping out of over blown car speaker systems. Now all we have to get used to is the African Drummers beating away at 6am on a sunday morning.

bonjourtristesse said...

Hey everyone! Wow! Noise pollution everywhere! Thanks for sharing all your stories, we all love music so much but when it becomes the enemy...maddening!!!

Hey Harbinger! Glad the cop action worked for you, it seems to have worked here too, cross fingers! "A bassline a two year old could play..." true 'dat!!!! LOL!

GW!! LOL!! SADE??? So funny!!Your neighbour sounds like a drag, obviously there was no reason for cop action there, nice Hendrix revenge, brother...

Hi Pastry Artist/Theresa! Thanks for the sentiment, nice for you to say so! Come back soon!! :D I will get that tag...stand by!! Thanks!

Allan!! Me too...all quiet on the Western front, but the war could start raging again at any time!

Hey A.! Good for you! Taking the action, with results! Good stuff.Redneck yuppies????ACK!! You definitely had it worse than me!!

Hi Erik! Ah man, a dish rattler?? Yikes...was his music awful as well? Like Good Charlotte or something equally terrible???

Hi AC!!Oh no...which park in North York? Gosh I'm sorry to hear about that...a park in close proximity can have its merit, but obviously its drawbacks as well...

sniders said...

Well done-One doesn't realise how precious silence is until someone steals it.

bonjourtristesse said...

Hi Sniders! Welcome! thanks so very much, and thank you for saying so perfectly how perfect silence can really be!!

Come back soon!