I'm Trying to Get Past My "Bono is a Dick" Phase

I loved me some U2 and Bono...and then it all went horribly wrong.



Cuz I'm a slacker baby my "Spring Cleaning" usually gets underway later in the hottie hot months. So just yesterday, I'm cleaning my drawers (the ones with handles, and not the ones for wearing) and I find an old ticket stub for seeing "Rattle and Hum" in the movie theatre. Hot damn, why do I insist on keeping such things? Of course, I have managed to fuckin' lose stuff of true value, items I would kill to have once again (whoever ended up with my "Ghost in the Machine" 3/4 sleeve and my "Synchronicity" sleeveless tour t-shirts, Eff you and don't have a nice day.)

Man, I saw "R&H" three times on da big screen. Jesus, I think that was the first time I saw the whole "group walking side by side in slo-mo" money shot. You know the kind of shot I mean. The kind of technique that when applied, renders the subjects deep and poignant because it's all done in artsy slow motion. Shit, I think the savvy bastard who filmed the opening credits of "Melrose Place" pulled this action, because suddenly all those airhead/fuckwit characters looked heavy, man. I swear to Goddess, you could film The Pussycat Dolls walking side by side in slo-mo, add some Pachelbel's Canon in D for music and you could almost believe the skags discuss Sartre and Camus in between pole rides.

Mr. Bono Vox peaked in '88, with "Rattle and Hum". The hum then seemed to mutate into an annoying buzz that seemed most appropriate, as he donned the dark bug glasses and "The Fly" persona. Not to mention tacky PVC.

Aw... fuck the Fly. Shoo fly don't bother me. I swatted my copy of "Achtung Baby" in the direction of the second hand CD store and didn't look back. Actually, I did look back. To Bono and the boys' back catalogue pre-Achtung, which to this day, I treasure most deeply, and admire most fervently.

So as it stands now, if Bono were to say yet again, "Am I buggin' you? I don't mean to bug ya", I would have to answer with a qualified "Yes you are, and because you DO mean to bug us all again and again, I'm outta here!" I would like to leave on a positive note however.

Bye Bono. Thanks for "The Unforgettable Fire" and for U2's stage stealing coming out like a beautiful debutante performance at the original Live Aid.

This time I'm waving the white flag, Bono. No harm no foul. Peace out.

currently listening to: Ryan Adams, Easy Tiger