Hello, It is the Clay Bust I'm Looking For

Like most music freaks I tend to wonder what has happened to certain items or artifacts that contributed to iconic musical moments and movements. I'm a freak that way. If someone held out King Tut's jeweled sceptre in their right hand and THE unused Kotex maxi pad that a blitzed Lennon apparently stuck to his head during his "Lost Weekend" in their left hand, I would be grabbing for that feminine product. Yeah, I know. I'm a freak.

Actually by now, like most peeps I am super tired of "LOST". They should do a series called "LOST WEEKEND" and have a bunch of rock gods stranded on a desert island, rock gods that curiously resemble Lennon, Nilsson, Moon, Ringo, Phil Spector and all of the smacked out session musicians that were hanging around during that crazy period of John's life. Oh, and have a May Pang-ish character too. Now that would be a show worth watchin'.

But back to the artifacts...if you are still with me, I ask you...

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO:
**the bitchin' SG Townshend threw out in the audience at Woodstock?
**Moon's "Pictures of Lily" drum kit?
**Morrison's stinky rank leather trousers that he supposedly never got cleaned but got creamed aplenty?
**Dylan's lyric cue cards from the "Subterranean Homesick Blues" clip? (I want the ones that say "Fleet Foot" and "The Vandals Took All the Handles")
**the crazy ass mic stand Julian Cope was ridin', and climbin' over like it wuz a set of monkey bars in the "World Shut Your Mouth" clip. That boom stand was a work of art, a marvel of ergonomics and I am shocked that there ain't more like 'em out there today...
**the clay bust of the teacher/stalker of blind chick character Lionel Richie played in the "Hello" video. Man, that thing is boss, applesauce. I would place it in a Radio Flyer and pull it all around town so that everyone could have a chance to see and enjoy its brilliance. Then I would have smaller replicas made and put on key chains and hand 'em out for free. That's what I would do. But obviously that ain't gonna happen. Surely the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and the Smithsonian are in a bidding war for the fuckin' thing. Aw, hell put it the Louvre, right across from the Mona Lisa. Give the old broad a real reason to smile.



"Hello, it is me you're looking for?" --"HELL YEAH it is!"

currently listening to: Nancy Sinatra, Greatest Hits

Bobby D BD Fashion Friday

Yesterday was Dylan's 66th birthday. The great man was born in 1941. Man, that's hella old. Dag yo, World War II was still raging. Oh, and to put the old factor into even more perspective, in 1941, first base mitts, push button phones and Velcro were all invented. Oh, and the first programmable calculator. Of course it was the size of a dictionary and needed two sumo wrestlers to lift it, and a team of 18 wonder nerds just to turn it on. Shit, and I thought the first Atari game console was ancient. Compared to Bob however, those little space invader creatures are as new as Phil Spector's recent realization of "Hey, I may actually be convicted here!". Have fun Phil, plotting out how to make your Wall of Soundproof Glass in the Clink's Visitation Room work for ya.

And Phil, that scary AHHHHHH!!!-fro is gawdawful. Cut your hair along with your losses and just go forth and be someone's little baby in the cooler. Karma will dictate that it will be some huge mutha with arms like cultured hams and no teeth named "Ronnie".

As for Dylan's afro-action...never a misstep. Ever. Even when it was outta control and looked pan-fried it rawked the casbah.



But really, his hair wasn't really an afro proper, just a great, glorious and big 'o mess of unruly curls and swirls. 'Tastic with a capital Fan.

Dylan should get more props for his contribution to style. His rep as a genius musician which is of course well deserved, completely over shadows his knack for the dress up, the dress down, and the dress just right.

Just check out his "Last Waltz Beauty Period". Faye Dunaway just called, Bob, and she wants her '70's glamour and her hat back. Delish.



Lately though I'm starting to worry about the old man. Worried about him musically? Um, no. 2006's "Modern Times" is an award winning masterpiece. Self-produced to boot. A boot of Spanish leather that is.

Style wise, I'm concerned that Bobby D is just one case of rum away from pimpin' a Captain Morgan.




I would be both shaken and stirred if this happened. Rumtini anyone?

currently listening to: Oasis, Definitely Maybe

The Devil and Robert Johnson, and the Guv'nor, and the Photo Booth

Photo booths. Lord love them. But only the old skool ones that deal exclusively in the lovely realm of black and white. Talkin' the original picture spitout machines that drop da four-shot strips of ebony and ivory, hazy-sweet with all gorgeous softness of the shades of grey that lay in-between. Unfortunately, much like the penultimate version of the ipod, the Black and White Booth is now considered obsolete.

Fuckit. Gonna miss those suckers like I miss my first distortion/overdrive pedal, the original Marshall Guv'nor(which was named by Jim Marshall himself, holla holla!)with the black housing, that somehow walked away from my own housing during an all night "Let's Just Play Appetite for Destruction Over and Over Again" throwdown. In other words, I have a Chinese Democracy's Chance in a Record Store of getting the wicked good pedal back.


I miss you...please come home . Life has not been the same without you Guv, my luv.

But fret not(gear slut pun)about the booths. The incredible folks at www.photobooth.net have gotcha covered if ya care. They have a photobooth locator that will direct you to the nearest booth in which you can diva it up, divy it up with friends(who's gonna spring for the first strip?), and capture for all eternity those vibrant, fleeting moments of life that make you think you can rock this planet-joint 4-evah.

So let's do a four shot strip o' tribute to the B&W Photo booth, shall we? Hell, ya don't even have to drop down the 25 cent coins for this set! "No Quarter(s)" required. Just shout a few "Hail Zeppelin!"s and we'll call it even.

Jandek, recluse. genius. the godfather of outsider music. bitchin' caesar haircut.

Robert Johnson, the greatest blues artist of all time, refused to sell his soul to the devil at the Crossroads in Mississippi, unlike Britney Spears who sold her soul at the 7:30 showing of Crossroads at every damn movie theatre in America.

Edie Sedgwick, '60's IT Girl, muse to Dylan and Reed, crashed and burned...but with such style!

Gear slut, no fixed ability, former owner of bad bangs n'crimp long hair-don't, and currently short one beloved Marshall Guv'nor.

Notice how the last picture is just a wee bit bigger than the rest? Purely intentional! 15 minutes baby, I'm entitled just like everyone else!

currently listening to R.E.M., Life's Rich Pageant

"Rhubarb, Rhubarb, Rhubarb"

Let's play a game. Let's test your attention to detail. What do these two videos have in common?

First up, a clip from the Propellerheads' "Decksanddrumsandrockandroll" (what a great title!) featuring the one and only Mizz Shirley Bassey . It's called "History Repeating" (this one's fer you, GW!)

Okay. Now up we have "And I Love Her" from the movie "A Hard Day's Night" starring 4 guys that other than building the foundation upon which all that modern pop music(and culture, and super dope haircuts)rests, they didn't really amount to much. I like "A Hard Day's Night". I always remember it as the one where the boys pretty much kept to the script and didn't mumble "Rhubarb, Rhubarb, Rhubarb" in between giggles. "A Hard Day's Night" was shot BBD. Meaning Before Bob Dylan. Meaning before the boys met Bob Dylan. When they met, Bob gave them...er...a present. If you want to know what that present was, just watch "Help!" which was made ABD(After Bob Dylan)and it will become abundantly clear what Mr. Zimmerman gifted them with(other than with profound musical inspiration).

Don't just say "the videos are both in black and white". That's lame. Sorta DDVS lame. Dylan Does Victoria's Secret lame.

currently listening to: Gomez, Bring it On